I learned how to use the "Voice Recorder" app on my cell phone yesterday. Best app EVER! I have been trying to find a way to send E some messages with my voice. Well I figured it out. But in classic me fashion, not without a little "hiccup".
Ok, so a little background. I have a 14 year old boy in my head. Not a real boy, but let's put it this way, I laugh when I hear the words "boob" or "fart". When E is on a deployment, this 14 year old boy tends to take over the thoughts of the 33 year old woman that I am. My brain sometimes goes into teenage boy mind set at the drop of a hat. It of course always happens at the most inappropriate times.
Military wives also get creative with ways to stay connected to her spouse. To go much more in detail would violate the "What happens on Deployment, Stays on Deployment" code.
Soooo back to the app. I had told E that I wanted to be able to send him voice messages. My problem was that I guess I wasn't specific enough of some of the reasoning for this. (in my mind it was obvious!) Anyway, so I recorded this message and sent it. The response I got was "Ok, you need to include a note when the message is not socially appropriate." Followed by "Yea....let's just say that I could not sit on the phone fast enough".
Oops. I will spare everyone the details of the message. I spit out my drink when I saw his responses. Then in unusual me fashion, I about crapped my pants. Asking him was he serious? His response, "yes....but don't worry only one little boy asked what that is". Oh my goodness....in my head I picture this sad little boy now scarred for life. Thankfully, E was joking around that a little boy actually said that.
So why did I just share this little story publicly? Because I realize that sometimes my sadness seems to be all that comes through when I write here. I miss E terribly, but the silver lining is that I get to have some of these silly funny moments with my husband. These are moments I cherish. Although I don't recommend someone to pick up one of our cell phones :)
Friday, July 27, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Missing Him
Another month down. We are now in month 7 of this deployment, with hopefully only 5 more months. The first 6 months didn't seem so bad, I was able to see E 4 times. This time there are no visits planned. It hasn't been easy on the little one either. She has gone from 6 to 16 in the last few weeks. (I am not looking forward to the teenage years!) This has prompted me to lay down the new rule that E is not allowed to deploy during the teenage years, and if he does she will join him! I am planning on changing a few things around the house to test if this will affect some of her behavior.
There are good days and bad days around this house. Most times I don't have enough time to swell on what I am missing. But then there are times that my heart physically needs him. Tears fall faster than they can be wiped, and sobs come from deep within me. It is usually on these days that Munchkin has her meltdowns, which only makes things worse. She definitely got the "fire" of emotions that come with the red hair....in a double dose.
While getting my teeth cleaned today, the hygienist asked me how long he has been in the CG. I told her almost 7 years, he joined when I was 6 months pregnant. When she asked me about it, I told her I didn't have a choice. Not that he didn't really give me any input, but that he wanted it so badly....I couldn't take that dream from him. I couldn't let him live the rest of his life with the regret of never fulling living out his dreams. I saw the need in his eye, the desire to do something bigger than he was. I remember him waking me up (I was working night shift) and he was so excited, he had stopped in with the recruiter to find out some information. He was talking so fast, I could hardly keep up (it could have been the lack of sleep). He promised I would get to also speak with the recruiter and ask her any questions I might have. And I did. When my questions were answered, I gave my "ok" and we officially became a military family. That was the first anniversary we spent apart. Since then we have been together on half of them. I must say, that even though he may have been gone he has never let an anniversary go by that I didn't feel the love between us.
I have been to a few weddings this year, and each one brings back the wonderful memories of our wedding. I remember holding E's hands in front of our family and friends. Speaking our vows to love each other no matter what. Feeling him place my ring on my finger. How my heart sand when the Priest told him he could kiss his bride. We have been together almost 14 years, married for 9. It seems like we have been together forever, but at the same time not long enough. Next year will be 10 years. I am hoping that we will be renewing our vows. Maybe even in Hawaii.
In 5 months there will be a happy mommy and daughter, and a happy Coastie. Until then we just have to take it one day at a time.
There are good days and bad days around this house. Most times I don't have enough time to swell on what I am missing. But then there are times that my heart physically needs him. Tears fall faster than they can be wiped, and sobs come from deep within me. It is usually on these days that Munchkin has her meltdowns, which only makes things worse. She definitely got the "fire" of emotions that come with the red hair....in a double dose.
While getting my teeth cleaned today, the hygienist asked me how long he has been in the CG. I told her almost 7 years, he joined when I was 6 months pregnant. When she asked me about it, I told her I didn't have a choice. Not that he didn't really give me any input, but that he wanted it so badly....I couldn't take that dream from him. I couldn't let him live the rest of his life with the regret of never fulling living out his dreams. I saw the need in his eye, the desire to do something bigger than he was. I remember him waking me up (I was working night shift) and he was so excited, he had stopped in with the recruiter to find out some information. He was talking so fast, I could hardly keep up (it could have been the lack of sleep). He promised I would get to also speak with the recruiter and ask her any questions I might have. And I did. When my questions were answered, I gave my "ok" and we officially became a military family. That was the first anniversary we spent apart. Since then we have been together on half of them. I must say, that even though he may have been gone he has never let an anniversary go by that I didn't feel the love between us.
I have been to a few weddings this year, and each one brings back the wonderful memories of our wedding. I remember holding E's hands in front of our family and friends. Speaking our vows to love each other no matter what. Feeling him place my ring on my finger. How my heart sand when the Priest told him he could kiss his bride. We have been together almost 14 years, married for 9. It seems like we have been together forever, but at the same time not long enough. Next year will be 10 years. I am hoping that we will be renewing our vows. Maybe even in Hawaii.
In 5 months there will be a happy mommy and daughter, and a happy Coastie. Until then we just have to take it one day at a time.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
The Good...and the Bad
I am going through a pretty wide range of emotions with this deployment. It sounds like a blessing to get to have my husband INCONUS, and the ability to go visit him. There are downsides. While it is great to see him, there is always an ending to that visit. Then there is the cost and vacation time required. Yet, it feels unfair to have him so close.....yet so far away. I am not trying to feel sorry for myself, but it is the reality. This wouldn't even be an issue right now, except that while I am getting excited for a Homecoming, I am also fearing an extension to this deployment.
This wasn't the plan. And isn't ideal, but the benefits outweighed the downside. I am so proud of my husband. He is providing for his family, and sacrificing time with us. Part of me wishes I could take a leave from my job, and that the little one and I could go and join him. And many people have asked why we don't do this. Believe me, we contemplated this. But it isn't the best option for us. It is interesting that people see only the surface, and that there are so many more layers to our family.
I'm looking forward to his being home, I hate the fact he is leaving so soon after getting home. I'm excited to watch my daughter's face when she sees her daddy, and I dread the look on her face when she watches him go through security at the airport to go. I am looking forward to running a race and having him be there when I finish, I wish it didn't interfere with my time with him.
This sucks. I hate it. But our family's future will be a little brighter when this is over. I miss my husband. My husband misses us. We love each other, even if we are states apart.
This wasn't the plan. And isn't ideal, but the benefits outweighed the downside. I am so proud of my husband. He is providing for his family, and sacrificing time with us. Part of me wishes I could take a leave from my job, and that the little one and I could go and join him. And many people have asked why we don't do this. Believe me, we contemplated this. But it isn't the best option for us. It is interesting that people see only the surface, and that there are so many more layers to our family.
I'm looking forward to his being home, I hate the fact he is leaving so soon after getting home. I'm excited to watch my daughter's face when she sees her daddy, and I dread the look on her face when she watches him go through security at the airport to go. I am looking forward to running a race and having him be there when I finish, I wish it didn't interfere with my time with him.
This sucks. I hate it. But our family's future will be a little brighter when this is over. I miss my husband. My husband misses us. We love each other, even if we are states apart.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Thank You
Thank you to those men and women who have sacrificed for our country, and put their lives on the line to protect our rights and freedom. I am proud to be a military wife, and know the sacrifices made to protect our country. My Grandfather Clair served in the US Army during WW II. E's grandfather lost his life in WW II months before his son (E's dad) was born. I have cousins, nephews and friends who have served or are serving. Thank you for you service.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Magical Powers
It is truly amazing what I can find that I am able to do and handle when E is away. Like today, I mowed the lawn for the first time. At least at this house, which we have lived in for 5 years. And also to my defense, we have only had said lawn for 4 years. But it has always been E's "job" to mow it. Sure, I COULD do it....but he looks so cute pushing the lawnmower.
When he gets home I am sure that this power to do something will magically disappear as quickly as it came. Along with the powers to handle all the chauffeuring, banking, housekeeping and education schedules, in addition to my own. I hate ladders, but there is a serious need for me to clean the gutters (another job I have never done) as well as changing the batteries in our smoke detectors that were conveniently placed 20 feet off the ground.
We are the down hill slope until my partner comes home, and this house will be in tip top shape. But part of my goal is to have it so that he walks in and say "damn! you rocked it, there isn't anything on my honey-do list!" In reality I need a new pad of paper to fit all of things for him to do on.
When he gets home I am sure that this power to do something will magically disappear as quickly as it came. Along with the powers to handle all the chauffeuring, banking, housekeeping and education schedules, in addition to my own. I hate ladders, but there is a serious need for me to clean the gutters (another job I have never done) as well as changing the batteries in our smoke detectors that were conveniently placed 20 feet off the ground.
We are the down hill slope until my partner comes home, and this house will be in tip top shape. But part of my goal is to have it so that he walks in and say "damn! you rocked it, there isn't anything on my honey-do list!" In reality I need a new pad of paper to fit all of things for him to do on.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Blame it on the Rain
Not going to lie. Today has been emotionally rough. This weather just freaking sucks. When I was in the sun I felt so good and had lots of energy. Was is because I had my husband? Maybe. But now we are separated again. And it is raining. Part of me feels like it was harder being able to be with him during this deployment for a few days. I had to go through the separation again. And it feels like the weather feels my pain.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
A Taste of Being Complete
Things have been great. Life felt complete. I had my family in one place. Now we are back to reality. CB and I returned from Mississippi last night, and back to school for her today. Now all we have to do is get through another month before we get to see E again.
The munchkin and I took a red eye from PDX to the South. I have to give that kid some credit. She fought sleep until we had been on the flight for 20 minutes. Then she crashed, HARD. A six year old trying to sleep on an airplane is not easy....she as all over the seat, and mine. I didn't sleep at all (could have been the excitement!) Unfortunately, E had to work the morning we got there. But the hotel was across the street from the airport, so we walked over there and took a nap. The pool, a shower and some jump roping outside and then I saw him. E pulled into the parking lot. Munchkin didn't see him, until he got out of the truck. She broke out into a run, straight to his arms. I can't compete with that! Then it was my turn. It was perfection, a feeling of being complete came over me.
New Orleans has an aquarium, and we hit that up during the weekend. They had a stingray pool, which for the munchkin was the highlight. We sprang $2 to let her feed the stingrays. The best money spent! (Or at least so far!) She loved it. We walked through the French Quarter and enjoy6ed some beignets at Cafe Du Monde.
The pool was our stand by while E was working, and the little one spent hours in the pool playing with some other girls. I was able to read a book. And absorb some Vitamin D. My pale translucent skin had been using the tanning bed prior to going down there to prepare. It was a good thing because even with the SPF 85 I was getting color! CB was turning brown. I wish I had her skin genes! Totally a Coppertone baby when she was done. (Yes...she had the waterproof SPF 85 on also).
The weather was on our side. Since E's job is reliant on the weather, we lucked out that operations were canceled a few times :) We did get a beautiful thunderstorm. I haven't seen one in about 10 years, CB has never seen one. Rain fell and the sky lit up. The next night it woke CB up in the middle of the night and she crawled into bed with us.
Dolphins have been a big thing in our house, and the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies was close. So of course we went on the tour, and got to watch the dolphin shows. It was a lot of fun. So much fun that a few days later we went back so that the munchkin and E could feed and train the dolphins. The joy on her face was priceless. Buster even splashed the two of them with his flukes. Which I think made her day.
The beach there is completely different than here, for one you can actually walk out into it. It was pretty warm and you could go out for quite a way before you were in over your knees. The downfall was that the beach was pretty dirty, and not from the oil spill but people's trash. It was kind of disturbing. One afternoon E and CB flew a kite. Another day we collected hermit crabs and made a little pool for them. It was pretty entertaining to chase them down. I even saw a blue crab crawling away at one point.
We had a wonderful family reunion, and it was 11 days of happiness. Now we wait until May, and then we get to see him again. And after that we are in the home stretch. I really can't wait to have our family back together. I know that there are two other redheads waiting for that moment too.
The munchkin and I took a red eye from PDX to the South. I have to give that kid some credit. She fought sleep until we had been on the flight for 20 minutes. Then she crashed, HARD. A six year old trying to sleep on an airplane is not easy....she as all over the seat, and mine. I didn't sleep at all (could have been the excitement!) Unfortunately, E had to work the morning we got there. But the hotel was across the street from the airport, so we walked over there and took a nap. The pool, a shower and some jump roping outside and then I saw him. E pulled into the parking lot. Munchkin didn't see him, until he got out of the truck. She broke out into a run, straight to his arms. I can't compete with that! Then it was my turn. It was perfection, a feeling of being complete came over me.
The pool was our stand by while E was working, and the little one spent hours in the pool playing with some other girls. I was able to read a book. And absorb some Vitamin D. My pale translucent skin had been using the tanning bed prior to going down there to prepare. It was a good thing because even with the SPF 85 I was getting color! CB was turning brown. I wish I had her skin genes! Totally a Coppertone baby when she was done. (Yes...she had the waterproof SPF 85 on also).
The weather was on our side. Since E's job is reliant on the weather, we lucked out that operations were canceled a few times :) We did get a beautiful thunderstorm. I haven't seen one in about 10 years, CB has never seen one. Rain fell and the sky lit up. The next night it woke CB up in the middle of the night and she crawled into bed with us.
Dolphins have been a big thing in our house, and the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies was close. So of course we went on the tour, and got to watch the dolphin shows. It was a lot of fun. So much fun that a few days later we went back so that the munchkin and E could feed and train the dolphins. The joy on her face was priceless. Buster even splashed the two of them with his flukes. Which I think made her day.
The beach there is completely different than here, for one you can actually walk out into it. It was pretty warm and you could go out for quite a way before you were in over your knees. The downfall was that the beach was pretty dirty, and not from the oil spill but people's trash. It was kind of disturbing. One afternoon E and CB flew a kite. Another day we collected hermit crabs and made a little pool for them. It was pretty entertaining to chase them down. I even saw a blue crab crawling away at one point.
We had a wonderful family reunion, and it was 11 days of happiness. Now we wait until May, and then we get to see him again. And after that we are in the home stretch. I really can't wait to have our family back together. I know that there are two other redheads waiting for that moment too.
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