I am going through a pretty wide range of emotions with this deployment. It sounds like a blessing to get to have my husband INCONUS, and the ability to go visit him. There are downsides. While it is great to see him, there is always an ending to that visit. Then there is the cost and vacation time required. Yet, it feels unfair to have him so close.....yet so far away. I am not trying to feel sorry for myself, but it is the reality. This wouldn't even be an issue right now, except that while I am getting excited for a Homecoming, I am also fearing an extension to this deployment.
This wasn't the plan. And isn't ideal, but the benefits outweighed the downside. I am so proud of my husband. He is providing for his family, and sacrificing time with us. Part of me wishes I could take a leave from my job, and that the little one and I could go and join him. And many people have asked why we don't do this. Believe me, we contemplated this. But it isn't the best option for us. It is interesting that people see only the surface, and that there are so many more layers to our family.
I'm looking forward to his being home, I hate the fact he is leaving so soon after getting home. I'm excited to watch my daughter's face when she sees her daddy, and I dread the look on her face when she watches him go through security at the airport to go. I am looking forward to running a race and having him be there when I finish, I wish it didn't interfere with my time with him.
This sucks. I hate it. But our family's future will be a little brighter when this is over. I miss my husband. My husband misses us. We love each other, even if we are states apart.
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