Yesterday Eric found me in my car sobbing when I got home from work. I couldn't make the tears stop. Fighting the deep emotions became to hard, and I let the tears fall. Anger is not an emotion I have right now. Well...at least not towards E :) Anxiety of when it will happen and how quickly is the big one. If I didn't love E, this would be easy.
Letting the feelings out was like opening the dam. It helped. Well, that isn't all true. My dreams last night were littered with HORRIBLE nightmares. The crying left me red, swollen and puffy eyes this morning. I went to work and the only thing I wanted was to be home with my husband. I love my job, and I love my co-workers, but today the only people I wanted to care for are my two favorite redheads. Thankfully, those that I work with were gracious to let me go home early. I only hope that they know how much I truly appreciate it right now. E and I picked up CB from school and spent the next three hours giggling, dancing and completely enjoying what being a family is all about. Seeing my husband's smile when CB and I were "dancing" in the car and laughing uncontrollably was beautiful. Even cleaning the house when we got home was enjoyable. Jokingly we told CB that she was going to have to use her allowance to go visit daddy. Wow....that little girl had some motivation :)
Thank you everyone for your support. It has been genuinely appreciated. Hopefully we will be hearing soon what the future will have in store for us.
2 comments:
You almost made Granpa Bear cry. You all and each get a big Grandpa Bear hug. Bless you,
Sending you lots and lots of hugs and kisses cous. I love you.
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